chainsmoking weather

sunday morning i'm sleeping past what i should, am awake for only an hour before i feel like i either need to chainsmoke or nap, and both are equally upsetting urges. i like thinking about what is a thousand miles away. i think about the things i want, when i have them, when i don't, and when i'm too malcontent to know the difference. i think about when things are too late, or if they ever are, and also i think that my soundtrack is both songs from before i met you, before i moved, but i can only hear parts of their choruses through the radio static. this small room, that old chair, that big plant, it all makes it feel like these thoughts are ok.