of thistles and bees

you'll know when

i'll miss reading your mind and when you really looked at me, looked right at me and into me and through me and pointed out the green spots in my eyes.

once, you were vibrant, joking, loving, doting and full of fluid caresses in new forms.

and i will miss that

and i am happy that i was able to see at least some of you like that, before it all went away.

i hope it comes back


i hope that you will feel joyful and full of life and happiness once again, and i don't hope this for me and you and i don't think i can give that to you, but i hope you stay both tender while adventurous and unruly and plucky, like i heard you had been

and sometimes i will think that i will miss you

or the idea of you

but i will write notes about you or for you and fold them carefully and pin them to my chest